From 2013-2022, I was a daily meeting maker, a sponsor, a true believer in the Alcoholics Anonymous way of life. I never imagined this would change, but now I find myself in a different world. I’m still sober, I’m still myself. But so much of the ideology that was central to my life and decisions and friendships and self-concept now seems like a script I picked up along the way. It wasn’t me, but I knew it by heart and repeated it so much that I might not have even been able to tell the difference.
This is the first time I’m telling this story, but it’s been in motion for years. As I’m telling it, I realize that there’s a lot more to say than I first thought. So this is part two—of three, I think. Maybe more?
And like I said last time—this is just my personal experience. If you love AA and it’s working for you, that’s great. Maybe this isn’t of use for you. All good, bruv!
But if you feel something complex about AA, if you’ve felt yourself pushing against its edges and trying to stay small so you can still belong, sit down and pour yourself a cup of Sanka baybeee. <3
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