OMG Sarah, it has happened before and it just happened again: you write about exactly the same things that have been occupying/plaguing me recently.
1) I'm having a midlife crisis and trying to figure out what to do with the second half of my life, and yesterday's installment of crisis was a conversation with my husband about how fulfilling it is to be of service to others, and my answer was the same as yours: No, fuck this, I hate the idea of being of service. So: I'm right there with you!
2) I also want to be seen but also want so much to hide. I've always thought it must simply be the curse of the introvert, but it seems more complex than just that.
And 3) This is the second time in two days that that line from the Gospel of Thomas has come in front of me (and I'm not a religious person!!). Perhaps I need to take it seriously.
Lisa!! I'm glad this resonated. I have wanted to write it a long time but it's taken me a long time to find the words. Honestly, it helps me a lot to know that somebody also feels the same way--such an intense taboo. (No wonder everybody loves that Mary Oliver poem so much.) Anyway. Glad we can keep each other company. <3
OMG Sarah, it has happened before and it just happened again: you write about exactly the same things that have been occupying/plaguing me recently.
1) I'm having a midlife crisis and trying to figure out what to do with the second half of my life, and yesterday's installment of crisis was a conversation with my husband about how fulfilling it is to be of service to others, and my answer was the same as yours: No, fuck this, I hate the idea of being of service. So: I'm right there with you!
2) I also want to be seen but also want so much to hide. I've always thought it must simply be the curse of the introvert, but it seems more complex than just that.
And 3) This is the second time in two days that that line from the Gospel of Thomas has come in front of me (and I'm not a religious person!!). Perhaps I need to take it seriously.
I wish I could talk to you about all of this.
Instead: thank you for it!!
Lisa
Lisa!! I'm glad this resonated. I have wanted to write it a long time but it's taken me a long time to find the words. Honestly, it helps me a lot to know that somebody also feels the same way--such an intense taboo. (No wonder everybody loves that Mary Oliver poem so much.) Anyway. Glad we can keep each other company. <3