life rx 4 mar 24
one big self
the queen of swords, with a line from Francis Ponge’s Mute Objects of Expression:
Variation
Line 3: Of the glistening body just come from the bath
Line 5: Nothing remains...
the aleatory
Sometimes I think about all the selves I’ve had before this one, and it’s hard to believe they were all real. Self who ate five pounds of crappy Chinese takeout from the hot bar at HyVee every other day to survive hangovers: she was real. Self who made a girl laugh so hard she threw up: real. Self who cried in the car on the way home because the cool girl at the AA meetings made fun of the seltzer water I brought to her house: real. Self who sat on a table made out of a huge cable spool on its side and poked at the birthmark on her breast: she was real (and still in diapers). A school of the invisible. I love all the accidental pictures I’ve taken of the places I lived because the autobiography of a particular black-and-white coffee cup set from the Red White & Blue thrift store has more to do with that self than I could ever say about her. Intelligence cuts a thing into two. It shears away the fuzzy and unknown. It gets shot like an arrow into a photograph.
the assignment
Don’t forget that when you start to be more visibly and truly yourself, some people will leave. But that’s only the first part of what happens.
writing prompt
Write an autobiography in objects—mute or otherwise.
a chune
“As Ondas Do Mar,” As Ondas
People are S L E E P I N G on this record. It is a perfect riptide—I put it on, and before I can look up, I have listened to the whole thing. No off-ramps. Uncluttered and poppy, empty the way your head feels after swimming.
credits: small spells tarot deck by Rachel Howe
Mute Objects of Expression by Francis Ponge
“As Ondas Do Mar,” As Ondas
Dear diary, bands of sunlight on a white wall give me a certain feeling. For reasons I can’t express, I feel certain that they give everyone else the same certain feeling. But one of the best things about writing and noticing is that you will never know if you’re right. What a relief. x s