ins and outs for 2023
despair is OUT. curiosity is IN. LFG
OUT
-feeling bad about yourself
-podcasts that are just two millennials spitballing about something they haven’t experienced or researched
-acai bowls
-attachment styles
-taking forever on a project bc you want it to be perfect
-brass fixtures
-scoldy Instagram carousels about complex social issues
-television
-self-deprecating memes w/ the relatability of being an anxious mess at the center
-being a content creator
-normalizing despair as the only way to be
-book reviews
-oat milk (sorry babe, where is the protein?)
-girlboss solopreneur bullshit
-checkerboard pattern
-fuzzy shit
-books with arches on the cover
-“the body keeps the score”
-“trauma”
-“the discourse”
-sad girl music (sorry you guys why is it so strummy)
IN
-deep breathing at every opportunity
-Addidas shirts with racing stripes
-messy, unbrushed hair + red lipstick
-page-turners consumed instead of TV (yes, even Dan Brown!!!! YES!!!!)
-soy milk
-learning how to trade options like an adult
-reading books that came out 20+ years ago and which none of your friends have ever heard of
-making art that is so weird it becomes a clubhouse for people who are weird like you
-befriending a crow and teaching it to steal money for you
-getting good at pool
-finding a way to socialize while making art
-knowing more about trees than about what’s happening on Twitter
-attaining beast speed—more projects, less perfection, scare your friends, be the person who somehow wrote an opera and five screenplays in a year
-anytime hobby of saying “I love myself” silently in your head while driving/in line at the drug store
-house music (god’s favorite)
-clipping out little articles in the newspaper and mailing them to friends
-Robert Caro audiobooks
-paintings
-popcorn with real butter
-critique only by making something new
-refusing to take anything personally
OK, I never even had an açaí bowl, but I am tired of them nonetheless.
And I know a lot of people like Phoebe Bridgers … but I am sorry, I have never understood u.
But the main thing, if I could give the world a nudge this year, would be: Please, for fuck’s sake, let’s stop pretending that despair = intelligence and sensitivity and relatability. Despair is a lack of imagination, full stop.
You know how annoying it is when you’re trying to figure out what to have for dinner and the person you’re talking to just shoots down all of your ideas without suggesting their own or offering input? Dude, that’s kind of how the whole world is at the moment.
My new year’s wish for me, and for you, is that we become the people who are curious rather than despairing. It isn’t always easy—people who are addicted to despair might try to tell you that you’re being insensitive, or even cruel. It can be lonely, especially if you’ve surrounded yourself with people who are used to hearing about how bad everything is. But it is worth it, more fun, and better for your skin.
X
S